So here you are.  You have broken up. Your relationship is over.

You never thought it would happen to you.  Never in a million years.

So What Happened?

You two were sooo much in love, so secure.  You believed that your relationship was on solid footing.   You were the perfect couple.  After all, he kept saying over and over  “You are the woman of my dreams” And  “I love you with all of my heart.”

Then, amazingly, it was over.

Well, I am talking about me here – but did you see yourself in there anywhere?

As it turns out my ex-fiance’ wanted to marry my house.  Yes, you read that right.  He was in love with my house!  Oh well.

What About You?

But what happened to you?  However you got here – no matter the path – there is a way out of your relationship breakup and your feelings of loneliness and loss.  There is a way up.

I know, I was there too. But I bounced back – and you can too.

I am sorry for your loss.   And things might appear to be bleak now at this juncture.  But you are a valuable person.  There is a special place for you in this world.  Hang on.  There is hope.

Bouncing Back by Building Self Esteem

Remember, it was a relationship break up – not a break down.*   It is too late for relationship advice;  it is too late to solve relationship problems and resolve relationship issues.   So instead, let’s work on building back your self esteem.  Let’s work on personal development.   I ask that you please start a journal and write these down:

• What are your good qualities?
• What do you do really well?
• When have you succeeded in the past?
• What do people notice about you?
• In what areas do you get compliments?
• What do your friends  think are your most admirable qualities?

Build on that Base

Let’s start there and build up that base.  This is just the beginning.  If you do a little of this each day –  let’s start with 15 minutes a day — the inventory of good stuff will grow and grow.  And then you will believe.

When you begin to realize  that you are whole – even on your 0wn – then you are starting to turn the corner.   As you work on it, begin to give thanks for your gifts – and show gratitude for your blessings.

And go out and have some fun with friends – have a good laugh.  Watch a funny movie.   Learn something new.  Read a good book.  Connect with your faith.   Join a women of faith group.  Shift your focus.  Spread some cheer. Have new hope.

And start to rebuild your self esteem one step at a time.  It was a break up – but you will not break down.  You can go on.  I believe.

When you believe it , then you will do it.

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – the Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a Certified Professional Life Coach, Certified NLP Practitioner, a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index, a best-selling author, and host of  the “Bouncing Back Now” show on Blog Talk Radio.

*  There is a good book by Lisa Steadman if you’d like to read more.