Are you now faced with a significant relationship problem?  A pending break up?  Already broken up?

Are you wondering where to go from here?

Two Key Signals

Take the signals from your partner and your heart.

• Are both of you wanting to reconcile and resolve your relationship issues?
• Or is it just you that wants to go back to the way it was – or the way that you thought it was?

There is a major difference in your strategy in these two cases.  Let’s focus on the case in which you both want to try to work things out.

Relationship Foundation

If you both want to work on your relationship, it is important to establish a solid relationship communications foundation that is built upon three support pillars:

• Honesty
• Trust
• Courtesy

These three elements are key to going forward in a positive and constructive manner that will serve you now as well as in the future.   It requires an environment of non-violent communication where neither of you uses words as weapons.

Other Helpful Traits and Values

Think instead of these traits: polite, sensitive, kind, empathetic,  and non-judgmental.  Think of other traits on your own.  What are the values that aspire to?  How can you apply your core values to your reconciliation?  How can you apply your core values to your relationship?  It is true that women of faith have a head start here.

At this time of turmoil in your relationship there is much pain in the air.  Don’t add to it with careless words.   It is better to be calm and considerate and to focus solely on issues, events, and behaviors.

It is better not to begin a sentence with “You did….”

Think Before You Speak

Before you get started think about what you want out of the conversation – is it to change a certain behavior?   Focus only on that specific behavior and work through ways that it can be modified.   You can take this on as a personal development goal to improve your communications skills under pressure.

Don’t lump the individual in with the behavior such as  “you are a jerk”  – this gets you nowhere and will likely shut down this and perhaps future conversations.   One inconsiderate act does not make the entire person a jerk.

Think about how you would feel when confronted  with some of the things that you have done.   A little empathy goes a long way, especially now.

Take Your Time

Take your time.  Use care and rebuild the bonds of your healthy relationship solely based on the three support pillars of honesty, trust , and courtesy.  Get in touch with your core values and act accordingly.   Think about your future, your plans, your goals.

Set out with new hope and let me know how it goes….

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – the Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a Certified Professional Life Coach, Certified NLP Practitioner, a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index, a best-selling author, and host of  the “Bouncing Back Now” show on Blog Talk Radio.       www.BouncingBackNow.com