The quote for today is from an unknown source – so thank you whoever you are…Integrity is not so much a value in itself; it is rather the value that guarantees all the other values.

How exactly do you align with your core values in your life?  How exactly do you align with your core values in your relationship? It surely sounds like the right thing to do, doesn’t it?  But what does it mean and how do you do it, you might be wondering.

Think of a ship’s compass.  Think of your general heading and direction as guiding principles.  Please forgive me for the nautical references, I just came back from a wonderful Caribbean cruise! 

Your Core Values

Your core values govern the way you view life and the way you live your life. They govern the way you assess, process, and react to situations in the world around you as they present themselves.  They influence the way you react to those around you.  You can choose to consciously act in conflict with your values – but, nevertheless your true values remain at your center.  Your values represent your aware, conscious, and authentic self.

This is where things begin to change, this is where they begin to take shape.  Many of us are not aware;  we live most of our lives on autopilot. Perhaps you are only now becoming more aware.  It is indeed a process, a life’s journey.  If in the past you were  generally not aware, then your values are often more apparent to others than they are to you.  Others can often see you more clearly because your lens to your soul is cloudy or fogged.

On the other hand, if you are more in touch with your values, you can make conscious decisions by applying your core values in real time to assess the preferred course of action. You can judge by the way you feel about the immediate decision itself and about the downstream consequences of the action.  When each relationship issue arises, you have the fortitude to check in with your values.

The Process

• What is going on? 
• Where is there dissonance between you and your love? 
• Where is there dissonance between you and your core values? 
• Where do you need more information?
• What are your options to proceed?  
• Which option aligns better with your core values? 
• Which option aligns better with your love’s values? 
• What are your next steps?
• Which action will you choose to take?  Why?

Think about it.  Why not make aligning with your core values an important personal development goal ? Why not make exploring your alignment with your love’s core values an important personal development goal?  It is well worth the effort – trust me.

Action Plan

To put your plan in place, first identify five values that are very important to you; these are some of your most important core values.  Second, begin to define how you will embody those values in your everyday life.  Think mainstream here, not a one-off situation.  Literally, what can you do differently each and every day to bring yourself and your relationship behaviors more in line with your core values?  What can you do differently each and every day to bring yourself and your relationship behaviors more in line with your love’s core values  that you espouse?

Just Say No to the Status Quo^TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” show on BlogTalkRadio and on the Real Coaching Radio TV network. Donna Marie has been the featured guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.

Check out Donna Marie’s new book at http://www.BouncingBackFromLoss.com

Looking to bounce back from a break up?  Checkout the new e-book: “Bouncing Back From A Break Up : 7 Essential Steps to Creating a Newly Empowered You” available now at http://www.BouncingBackNow.com/store

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