“I love you, not only for who you are, but also for what I am when I am with you.” Roy Croft

This quote illustrates that our core values are openly on display in our lives, that our values are tightly intertwined  in your relationship – or in your marriage.  It is quite difficult to have a long-term relationship where your values are not present in your thoughts, in your decisions, and in your words.  You reveal yourself and your core values as you go about your daily life.   What you think, what you say, what you do – these are largely driven by your core values.  As Dr Phil would say – how’s that working for you?

On Track?

If you are finding that there is tension and dissonance in your life, then there are unresolved issues. When relationship issues or problems are left to fester and simmer, they only get worse.  And they take a heavy toll on you and on your relationship. You can have a healthy relationship – one step at a time. 

 You core values govern the way you live and the way you respond to life. They govern the way you react to situations that present themselves. They govern the way you react to your friends and to your non-friends. You can consciously act outside of your values – but your true values are still there at your core. Your values act like a compass that set your direction initially and then keep you heading in the right direction over time. Your values represent your authentic self.

Are You Aware?

If you are not a generally aware person, your values can sometimes be more apparent to others than to yourself. If you are more in touch with your values, you can make conscious decisions by applying your values in real time to assess the right course of action. You can judge by the way you feel about the immediate decision itself and about the downstream consequences of the action.

Your Actions

You can gain some insights into your core values by going deeper.  Identify five core values that are very important to you is a role that is important - let’s say as a spouse or love to start.  In that role, what are the five values that you aspire to live? Take your time.   Then, the next step is to articulate how you live those values.  When did you last demonstrate a particular value?  If it’s been a long time, why do you think that is?  Is it truly a core value for you? 

Consider how your values define your character – either who you are or who you want to become.  Consider how your values define your relationship - either as it is or what you want it to become. 

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network and the  “Bounce Back”show on webtalkradio.net.  Donna Marie is a featured relationship expert panelist on the new Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network.