How to Reconcile a Relationship IssuePosted by Donna Marie Thompson, PhD on Sep 12, 2011 in Bouncing Back, Get Your Ex Back, On the Brink of a Break-up | 0 comments
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” Kahlil Gibran
Is it time to reconcile your relationship? Are you now faced with a significant relationship issue or relationship problem? A pending break up? On the brink? Or have things moved past that point and you are already broken up? Wherever you are in your relationship, it is time to stop and to take stock.
Are you wondering where to go from here? If so, let’s figure out where you are right now.
Resolve Your Relationship Issue
So how can you tell – is it time to cut and run or can this really be saved? Should it be saved? One of the soundest ways it to take the actual signals from your partner and your heart. What is going on right now?
- Do both of you want to reconcile?
- Do both of you want to resolve your relationship issue once and for all?
- Are both of you willing to do what it takes to get this back on track?
- Or is it just you that wants to go back to the way it was – or the way that you thought it was?
There is a major difference in your strategy depending upon the answers to these questions. Let’s focus on the case in which you both want to try to work things out.
Your Relationship Issue as a New Foundation
You can take the relationship issue that is upsetting you and make it a new foundation. Really. In fact, that is a proven way to get this relationship issue nailed down and put to rest for good. Anything less and it will be left to fester and rear its ugly head after both of you relax back into your old groove. It’s happened thousands of times before. If you both want to work on your relationship, it is important to establish a solid relationship communications foundation that is built upon three support pillars: trust, honesty, and courtesy.
These three elements are key to going forward in a positive and constructive manner that will serve you now as well as in the future. It requires applying the principles of non-violent communication where neither of you uses words or gestures as weapons.
Other Helpful Traits and Values
Think instead of these traits: polite, sensitive, kind, empathetic, and non-judgmental. Think of other traits on your own. What are the values that aspire to? How can you apply your core values to reconcile your relationship issue? How can you apply your core values to your relationship? It is true that women of faith have a head start here.
At this time of turmoil in your relationship there is much pain in the air. Don’t add to it with careless words. It is better to be calm and considerate and to focus solely on issues, events, and behaviors. It is better not to begin a sentence with “You did….” “You make me….”
Think Before You Speak
Before you get started think about what you want out of the conversation – is it to change a certain behavior? Focus only on that specific behavior and work through ways that it can be modified. You can take this on as a personal development goal to improve your communications skills under pressure.
Think about how you would feel when confronted with some of the things that you have done. A little empathy goes a long way, especially now.
Your Relationship Issue Can be Resolved Over Time
Take your time. Use care and rebuild the bonds of your healthy relationship solely based on the three support pillars of honesty, trust , and courtesy. Get in touch with your core values and act accordingly. Think about your future, your plans, your goals.
Set out with new hope and let me know how it goes…. For help check out my offerings: http://bouncingbacknow.com/personal-growth-resources/
Just Say No to the Status Quo TM
Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network. Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV. She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country. Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“ on the ION network.