The Positive Side for Women in DivorcePosted by Donna Marie Thompson, PhD on Sep 22, 2011 in Bouncing Back, On the Brink of a Break-up, Relationships | 1 comment
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
Divorce, there I have said it. Divorce, who ever thought? As all of the pain and sadness and grief and loss of divorce begins to settle down toward a dull ache — and as the emptiness begins to lessen, the good news is that there is a ray of hope. There is a positive side for women in divorce even though at times it is difficult to see it or to realize it. The relationship that was to be the ONE has now ended. It is sad to lose a love along with your hopes and dreams. It can start out sad to be a woman in divorce. Rest assured, you are not alone. Our dreams have been shattered, it is true. But you tried to make it right and it is just did not work. So the past is now the past and the new path is set out before you. A path to light.
When you are ready and as you process your feelings, a tiny light begins to flicker inside you. At first it is a small beam but then gradually over time the light washes over you. Doors that had been closed to you have now opened for you – even if just by a crack. But it is a start and all we ask for is a start – another chance – a new beginning.
You have a choice of what to do today. You have a choice of how to feel today. Really, you do. You have a choice of how to act today. That is the good news. You are now gaining control over elements of your life. Even if it starts out somewhat slowly and moves in fits and starts, you are now moving in the right direction. The healing process is well underway and hope is rising. Your healing has taken hold.
The Healing in Divorce
Even as you understand all that you have lost, it comes over you that, as part of the forgiveness you are processing, you have changed. The way that you look at things has changed. You can replace the emptiness with new-found freedom to make choices. You have new options. Sure, it was scary at times but it is starting to get a little exciting. You can do want you want today. You can do what you want every day. From now on, it is up to you.
Life After Divorce
Your life after divorce will be different, no doubt about it. But it can be different in a good way. Remember all of the things that you didn’t have time to do before, all of the things that you were missing out on? Well now it is time to take advantage of them. Now it is time to bring back your sense of fun and enjoyment. You can decide to be happy in your new life with new friends and new activities. Even as you have lost friends as you venture out to try new things you will meet new people. Check out the meetups in your area – they are as diverse as walking, zumba, art, movies, shopping, dining – all the way to environmental cleanup.
And now that you are in control of your life and your happiness, it is time to start thinking about positive choices about what to bring into your life.
Mark your calendars for Tuesday October 11 for my highly-interactive free teleseminar on “How to Cope With Divorce” at 8pm EST/5pm PST.
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Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network. Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV. She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country. Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“ on the ION network.