Once you choose hope, anything is possible.  Christopher Reeve

Healing Heart

How to Heal a Broken Heart 

Ah, sadly you have a broken heart.  Does that broken heart come from a relationship breakup or from a divorce?  Often when you are suffering from a broken heart - you might not know where to turn.  You might not know who can can trust with your broken heart.  You are fragile.

With a broken heart, you might tend to curl up on the couch and try to wait it out.  Seeking out friends might work for a while to soothe your broken heart – until your friends start to avoid you due to burnout.  Although they can offer a shoulder to cry on and act as a sounding board, they can’t really help you to break free – they cannot really help to heal your broken heart.

Mend That Broken Heart

Now if curling up on the couch or talking on and on with friends truly worked, then I’d be the first to say: “Go for it.”   But alas, these approaches can only take you so far.  But not far enough.  And worse yet, they could be wasting your time.  They let days of your life flow like water under the bridge – gone, lost, forever to be opportunities missed.

So think about it: Are you making the progress that you had hoped  by now?  Are you still crying? Is your broken heart truly healing?

Broken Heart Be Gone 

Look around for sources of genuine hope and help. If you are in a faith community, seek someone out for a chat.  And there are countless books, blogs, web sites, and audios to help guide you.  Find a source that aligns with the way you think – and the way that you want to feel.  Find a source that resonates with you.

And ponder these questions:

• Are you ready to start to put your past relationship problems behind you?
• Are you ready to be true to YOUR core values?
• What do you want your life to be like?
• What values would you like to demonstrate?
• How would you like people to view you?
• What steps are you ready to take today to advance your recovery?

Yes, it might seem like a stretch – depending upon where you are in your recovery process. But, believe me, there is a new life waiting for you out there.  And the good news is that you get to shape it.  You will see that day-by-day your thoughts will begin to shift ever so slightly toward a new future – a different future, a brighter future, your new future.  That, my friends is personal development at its best.

Broken Heart Recovery

You will begin to notice the shifts in your thinking as you seek out feelings of peace – as you seek freedom from your pain, as  you seek to escape the thoughts of hopelessness and sorrow.

You might be asking:  ”Will I ever be happy again?”  “Will my broken heart ever heal?” The answer is Yes – as you begin to take steps toward your healing and your recovery.

Looking to bounce back from a break up?  Looking to accelerate your recovery and put your pain behind you once and for all? Checkout the e-book: “Bouncing Back From A Break Up : 7 Essential Steps to Creating a Newly Empowered You” available now on SUPER SALE at http://www.BouncingBackNow.com/books 

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She was the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network and the  “Bounce Back” show on webtalkradio.  Donna Marie was a featured relationship expert panelist on the new Conscious View TV series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie was showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest”  in 2011.

Relationship Break Up?

“You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.”                                

This quote mentions forgiveness in your relationship.  That might be the farthest thing from your mind right now.  But even if you can’t deal with it now, please keep it in the back of your mind anyway.  Forgiveness is the path to healing from your relationship break up.  From your divorce.  From your broken heart. 

When it’s over for good with no hope of reconciliation, a new era in your life begins. It might start out slowly and even unwillingly, but it begins nonetheless.  It is time to awaken to that new dawn.  Post relationship. It is finally clear now.  It wasn’t right, it wasn’t the ONE, it wasn’t meant to be.  Not forever, anyway.

The Nature of a  Relationship

 So now the key to your healing is to regroup and refocus.  Get off the couch.  Lose the sweat pants.  Grab a friend – even a furry one.  Go outside. The only relationship that you need to focus on now is your relationship with yourself.  And there is only one direction that matters - it is forward, the future, tomorrow.  So when is a good time to begin your healing?  Think about that carefully.  When is a good time to start ending your pain?

 How about NOW?  Let’s get started.  It is time to heal, now. No reason to delay.  It is time to be whole.  It’s time to rebuild your foundation. Now. No waiting.  No delay.  Don’t you want to feel better than the way you feel now?

How to Heal a Relationship Break up

It might be hard for you to believe, but you can put all of your old relationship issues and relationship problems behind you.  People who successfully bounce back from a relationship break up have a few secrets in common.  Many baby boomer women especially have:

• Gratitude for what you still have & had
• Positive support systems of family, friends, coaches, or others
• Time for constructive reflection after your grief
• A curious quest for your lessons
• Forward thinking with plans for a new and exciting future.

What obstacles are blocking your path to recovery?  Are you stuck?  Going round and round?  One key is to avoid carrying past relationship issues forward with you.  What happened?  What was your role?  Learn from them, grab the lessons,  then let them go.  Yes, you can do it.  I know you can.  If I did it, you can do it.

The Clean Slate

The clean slate approach is one way to move forward while still holding on to  your valuable lessons.  With a new attitude of self help and personal development. That is the key. A recovery attitude that will see you through until tomorrow and your new empowered future.  Yes, you can bounce back from this break up. Seek out the help and the tools to aid in your recovery – family, friends, women of faith, coaches, others.

Are you ready for your new future?  Are you ready for new hope?  Why not get started today?  How can I help?

 For help check out my offerings: http://bouncingbacknow.com/personal-growth-resources/

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She was the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV and radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network and webtalkradio.net.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network.

 Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.  Swedish proverb  

 Relationship. That is an interesting thought.  Even when we are in a relationship, we seem to take for granted the love in our lives.  The very love that at one time we tried so hard to capture in our relationship.  We were so committed to have a great relationship.  The one that you were so excited about.  The one that would change everything for you.  But here you are. No quite so happy.  No quite so fulfilled.

Somehow in all of the living, perhaps you’ve lost a lot of the loving in your relationship.  Sure there are some relationship issues.  Of course, there are some relationship problems. It is only to be expected. After all, you are two different people.  And you’ve been together for quite a while now.

Can Your Relationship Be Saved?

If there is still spark of love left in each of you, then the good news is that it is not too late.  That is, if you don’t want it to be.   If you have not given up, then you can build upon the foundation of that love.  You can make it stronger.  You can make it better. There is new hope.  If that is what you want.

How do you view your relationship?  What are the good  parts?  What can you appreciate about your love?  Have you been thinking about your relationship in a negative vein lately?  How easy would it be to stop that right here in your tracks and begin to look for the positives? 

There is much good in your relationship.  It just might be trapped under a heavy weight of busyness and things – chores, errands, finances, obligations.  But it is there.  Just as the flower bulb holds tremendous potential – so does your relationship.  Just as the crocus emerges anew, so can your relationship.

Now What for your Relationship?

Summon love and longing, tenderness, appreciation, and gratitude.  Daily life can be a grind and it can cause you to lose perspective on the big things – the important things - including your relationship. Yes, you can get that feeling back. You can have a healthy relationship.  Boomer women are standing at the cross roads.

You have the power to experience love and joy – you can change the channel away from your problems. Think about something that is very special to you about your love –  something hopeful and wonderful that fills your heart. Happiness is on the way. 

You can have joy whenever you want to; it’s within your grasp.  Change  the way you view your love and your love will change.  Your relationship is a system; a change in one part changes the entire system.

 Action Steps for your Relationship

Think of a special time that you really enjoyed together. Talk about all the things that you enjoyed.  Why was it so much fun?  What were you feeling? What was your love feeling? Use all of your senses to remember as much as you can; the sights, the sounds, the smells.  Make those memories really come alive. Permit those feelings to envelope you and to pervade your mind and your heart. Spend a minute or two just basking in the joy of that special moment and feel your spirits lift.  You’ve got the power to make it come alive again. 

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She was the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” show on the Real Coaching TV network and the  “Bouncing Back Now”show on webtalkradio.net and Real Coaching Radio network .  Donna Marie was a featured expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie was showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest”  in July 2011 on the ION network.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”    Catherine Ponder

How to Get Through a Break Up

Ah, the break up. 

But fear not, there is life after a break up, really.  This is the second in the series of  about getting through a break up.  There are many obstacles to overcome when you find yourself trying to get through a break up.  We have already talked about grief.  You just got to feel the grief and deal with it in your own way in your own time.  Wishing it would all go away is just not very effective – we’d all be healed if it was.  

It is all a process.  Hang in there – it will get better after your break up. You can do this. 

Another Obstacle in Your Break Up

Overcoming today’s obstacle that is challenging for many baby boomer women - perhaps you have been hurt in thsi divorce or break up.  The rug has been pulled out from underneath you.  So forgiveness is not on your mind right now.  You might be sad, mad, angry, frustrated and a dozen other emotions.  Sitting there with a broken heart.  Well, you can begin to heal that broken heart with a dose of —- forgiveness.

Goal in Your Break Up

What is your over-arching goal here in putting this break up behind you?  It could be to be happy and whole – once again.  That could be the end game.  Surely, that is where happiness lives.  When you’re feeling so sad and lonely, how can you even consider being happy?  You might be thinking that you will never be happy again.  So let’s move on to obstacle #2 to get past this right here, right now.

Break Up Obstacle #2

The second obstacle to overcoming loss is not letting go of the hurt with the amazing power of forgiveness.  If you have suffered and are in pain, forgiveness does not readily come to mind.  A  divorce or a major relationship break up surely qualifies as pain. That dull ache that never seems to leave.

It is better for you to forgive.  In fact, it is a gift that you give yourself to let go of the thoughts that keep you tied to the events that have hurt you.  Begin to let them fade.  Begin to distance yourself from the intensity of those feelings.  Begin to forgive. 

You forgive for yourself, not for anyone else. You don’t even have to tell them that you forgive them, the magic is inside of you. Granting forgiveness to others does not mean that you approve or necessarily condone questionable actions by others. Granting forgiveness to others does not mean that you completely forget about what happened.

True forgiveness means that you have moved past the action itself and have forgiven the person. Upon your act of forgiveness, you have cleared your mind and no longer harbor bad feelings. Hanging on to feelings of resentment is harmful to you and your health, increases stress, and often has no effect whatsoever on the other person who is off of their merry way.

Ridding yourself of resentment enables you to replace those swirling thoughts with positive, constructive thoughts. The act of forgiveness raises your energy level and brightens your outlook.

Call to Action:

Identify an opportunity to demonstrate true forgiveness.  Work out how you will undertake it, in your mind. Create a story where you forgive them.  Say it out loud – “I forgive you”. Say it 3 times — louder each time.  Then assess changes in your feelings over the next few days.

Check out my highly praised e-book:
How to Bounce Back from a Break Up  

1. 

   Awesome Break Up Resource

   http://bouncingbacknow.com/books/

    It is the third book on the list.  Get you own copy today for new hope - major sale on now.  Save today.
    

   Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

   Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She was the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network and webtalkradio.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie was showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network.  

“I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.”  Unknown

Wow – that quote hits the nail on the head.  Here you are – in the process or after a break up.

How to Get Through a Break Up

There are many obstacles to overcome when you find yourself trying to get through a break up.   Your thoughts are swirling; your emotions are swirling.  You wish it would all just go away.  But sadly, it will not – at least not without some concentrated and purposeful effort.

It takes a guided path to navigate the rocky shores of a break up.  Some times you think you are OK and other times you know that you are not.  It is all a process.  Hang in there – it will get better. You can do this.  And you don’t need to do it alone.  There are many resources that you can tap to aid you in getting through your break up.  We can do this together.

One Obstacle in Your Break Up

Today’s blog features an obstacle that is common among baby boomer women – we think we can do anything and we can just plow through this quickly.  Just keep busy and it will all be OK.  Just keep at it and it will all go away.  Sound  familiar?  Well, this approach might work in the short term, but it does not have the long-lasting effects of total healing. 

The Goal in Your Break Up

What is your over-arching  the goal?   To be happy and whole – once again.  Now let’s move on to obstacle #1.

Break Up Obstacle #1

The first obstacle to overcoming loss is not allowing yourself the time to grieve.   If you have suffered a significant loss in your life, then grieving is a natural and healthy process.  A  divorce or a major relationship break up surely qualifies.

Take the time you need to sort through your emotions and experience your  thoughts.  You can laugh.  You can cry.  But it is important to take the time to grieve for your loss.  Come to terms with it.

Sometimes when we are taking care of others, it is difficult to take time for ourselves.  Remember on the plane they say “… put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others…”

Check out my highly-praised e-book: How to Bounce Back from a Break Up    

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”  Helen Keller

The Light

Divorce, there I have said it.  Divorce, who ever thought?  As all of the pain and sadness and grief and loss of divorce begins to settle down toward a dull ache — and as the emptiness begins to lessen, the good news is that there is a ray of hope. There is a positive side for women in divorce even though at times it is difficult to see it or to realize it.  The relationship that was to be the ONE has now ended.  It is sad to lose a love along with your hopes and dreams.  It can start out sad to be a woman in divorce.  Rest assured, you are not alone.  Our dreams have been shattered, it is true.  But you tried to make it right and it is just did not work.  So the past is now the past and the new path is set out before you.  A path to light.

After Divorce

When you are ready and as you process your feelings, a tiny light begins to flicker inside you. At first it is a small beam but then gradually over time the light washes over you.  Doors that had been closed to you have now opened for you – even if just by a crack.  But it is a start and all we ask for is a start – another chance – a new beginning. 

You have a choice of what to do today.  You have a choice of how to feel today. Really, you do. You have a choice of how to act today.  That is the good news.  You are now gaining control over elements of your life.  Even if it starts out somewhat slowly and moves in fits and starts, you are now moving in the right direction.  The healing process is well underway and hope is rising.  Your healing has taken hold.

The Healing in Divorce

Even as you understand all that you have lost, it comes over you that, as part of the forgiveness you are processing, you have changed.  The way that you look at things has changed. You can replace the emptiness with new-found freedom to make choices.  You have new options.  Sure, it was scary at times but it is starting to get a little exciting.  You can do want you want today. You can do what you want every day.  From now on, it is up to you.

Life After Divorce

Your life after divorce will be different, no doubt about it.  But it can be different in a good way.  Remember all of the things that you didn’t have time to do before,  all of the things that you were missing out on? Well now it is time to take advantage of them.  Now it is time to bring back your sense of fun and enjoyment.  You can decide to be happy in your new life with new friends and new activities.  Even as you have lost friends as you venture out to try new things you will meet new people.  Check out the meetups in your area – they are as diverse as walking, zumba, art, movies, shopping, dining – all the way to environmental cleanup.  

And now that you are in control of your life and your happiness, it is time to start thinking about positive choices  about what to bring into your life.

 Mark your calendars for Tuesday October 11 for my highly-interactive  free teleseminar on “How to Cope With Divorce” at 8pm EST/5pm PST. 

http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/3E5KD455AZ6KUPGL

 Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network. 

“If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out of love?” Anonymous

Feel Free to Feel

Divorce Dynamics

During and after divorce your feelings are swirling – nothing seems to make sense anymore.   Some days you are not even sure how you feel. The goal is to find out  how to get over your break up.  The goal is to find a way to cope with your break up.  The goal is to be happy and whole once again.

After Divorce Feelings

Our feelings are signals to ourselves - that is what is really going on inside us. You can use these feelings as a message - what exactly are they trying to tell you?  And what can you do with the feeling?  How long would you like to keep that feeling?

You read that right.

How long would you like to keep that feeling?  Is it serving you or not?  Sometimes we need to keep feelings around as constant companions.  And other times we can decide that we no longer need them and we move on to the next feeling. It is a process that is unique for each one of us.

After Divorce, Write it Down

Many women find it to be helpful to write down their feelings – it releases the negative energy and it lets you express what you are truly going through. No sugar coating. No masking the pain,  just your feelings.  You will find that as you write down your feelings it becomes slightly easier to share them with others – the edge starts to come off.   The feelings are more refined.

As you deal with the downstream effects of your divorce, seek out those who will listen to you, find friends who agree to listen, find a coach, find support in some way.  Your feelings will come and go and you can observe them and guide them out of your life when the times comes.

Take care.

 Mark your calendars for Tuesday October 11 for my free highly-interactive  teleseminar on “How to Cope With Divorce” at 8pm EST/5pm PST. 

http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/3E5KD455AZ6KUPGL

 Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network. 

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”  Helen Rowland

Live Again!

How to Cope With Divorce

So here you are, now it is time for divorce.  Now, you understand.  Now it is clear that your values don’t align.  Now it is clear that you want different things.  Now it is clear that any amount of past love will not fix what is broken here.  Perhaps even as you tried to morph into what you thought you needed to be, it just didn’t work. Where does the love go? What is next for you? Can you go on?

Yes, you can, and you will.

Whether you are on the brink of divorce, in the middle of one, or just coming out of one - there can be a very deep sense of loss.  It can be all-consuming.  It can be  incredibly complex and muti-faceted.  Your feelings are swirling.  Everything that you thought you had, is gone.  Your very image of yourself is shattered.  In times like these, I am truly sorry for your loss.  I am truly sorry that you are in pain.

And I am here to help you get through it.  The bouncing Back Now Community is here to get you the help you need. Yes, it takes time, but it takes more than time.  It takes tools.  And I’ve got tools.

Elements of  Divorce

In this new series“How to Survive a Divorce“  we will examine what is needed to put your life back together. We will look at your feelings, family, friends, finances, and many other topics as they relate to getting you through this.  And to help you find the light at the end of the tunnel – your tunnel, your light, your way.

Along the way, please let me know what you’d like to cover in this series.  And I invite you to share your feelings. You are safe here.

Healing From Divorce

You can get through this and you will get through this.  We will go step-by-step to help you navigate your own circumstances.  I will call in experts to help sort through this.

 Mark your calendars for Tuesday October 11 for my free highly-interactive  teleseminar on “How to Survive a Divorce” at 8pm EST/5pm PST. 

http://myaccount.maestroconference.com/conference/register/3E5KD455AZ6KUPGL

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network.

Relationships

I have added the concept of relationship to Wes Hopper’s rich life message. To me, it’s essential to have a healthy relationship in whatever form that takes in your life. According to our guest blogger Wes Hopper  of www.horncreek.com/,  there are six components that we must embrace in order to  live a rich life.   

Soar!

 ”These are:                                                                                                                                                               

1) A powerful, exciting life purpose

3) Strong and complete belief that you can and will have it

4) Continuous gratitude for every part of your life

5) Expelling the limiting beliefs and attitudes that do not support you

6) Courageous, effective action.

In Relationships and in Life

We need purpose to have real motivation, and purpose always describes the impact we want to have on the world.
Next we have to see what that looks like. Many people fail at this, having only a vague idea of what their life will look like. And if you don’t know, how will you get there?

Confidence that we can have that dream is vital. We don’t have to be perfect in always believing and not
doubting, but we do need to be confident and determined most of the time.  An attitude of gratitude is the secret
sauce that makes the recipe work right. Gratitude for everything, not just the big victories but the obstacles and
setbacks, too! Gratitude all the time.

Breaking the Chains in Life and Relationship

Giving up our excuses and limiting beliefs, our small visions and our negative mindsets is vital! Retrain the
mind to expect success.  Last, but not least, we must be taking courageous and effective action all the
time. Every day be doing something that will move you toward that goal.”

This is Donna Marie speaking now…….So how can you take this and apply it to your life and to your relationship?  We live in a time of rapid change and transition - it is all around us.  And the change is accelrating to boot.  This can be a good thing.  It is an opportunity if things are not where you want them to be in your life.  

How does your life purpose play out within your family situation? And what parts of your purpose lie outside your healthy relationship?  This is the critical  first assessment.  Yes, you can have it all – it might take a little juggling  and a little staging and a little waiting – but you can begin to develop your life purpose starting now.  Your passion.  It is key to living a full rich life.

If you are newly single, finding your life purpose is especially important now.  Take some time to chart a new course for your new life.  The sky is the limit now.  What once was seen as a source of sadness can turn into new-found  freedom and a rich life. Go for it.

For helping resources please go to: http://bouncingbacknow.com/personal-growth-resources/

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network.

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of  separation.”  Kahlil Gibran

Relationship Issue?

Is it time to reconcile your relationship? Are you now faced with a significant relationship issue or relationship problem?  A pending break up?  On the brink? Or have things moved past that point and you are already broken up?  Wherever you are in your relationship, it is time to stop and to take stock.

Are you wondering where to go from here?  If so, let’s figure out where you are right now.

Resolve Your Relationship Issue

So how can you tell – is it time to cut and run or can this really be saved?  Should it be saved? One of the soundest ways it to take the actual signals from your partner and your heart. What is going on right now?

• Do both of you want to reconcile?
• Do both of you want to resolve your relationship issue once and for all?
• Are both of you willing to do what it takes to get this back on track?
• Or is it just you that wants to go back to the way it was – or the way that you thought it was?

There is a major difference in your strategy depending upon the answers to these questions.  Let’s focus on the case in which you both want to try to work things out.

Your Relationship Issue as a New Foundation

You can take the relationship issue that is upsetting you and make it a new foundation.  Really. In fact, that is a proven way to get this relationship issue nailed down and put to rest for good.  Anything less and it will be left to fester and rear its ugly head after both of you relax back into your old groove.   It’s happened thousands of times before.  If you both want to work on your relationship, it is important to establish a solid relationship communications foundation that is built upon three support pillars:  trust, honesty, and courtesy.

These three elements are key to going forward in a positive and constructive manner that will serve you now as well as in the future.  It requires applying the principles of non-violent communication where neither of you uses words or gestures as weapons.

Other Helpful Traits and Values

Think instead of these traits: polite, sensitive, kind, empathetic,  and non-judgmental.  Think of other traits on your own.  What are the values that aspire to?  How can you apply your core values to reconcile your relationship issue?  How can you apply your core values to your relationship?  It is true that women of faith have a head start here.

At this time of turmoil in your relationship there is much pain in the air.  Don’t add to it with careless words.   It is better to be calm and considerate and to focus solely on issues, events, and behaviors. It is better not to begin a sentence with “You did….”  “You make me….”

Think Before You Speak

Before you get started think about what you want out of the conversation – is it to change a certain behavior?   Focus only on that specific behavior and work through ways that it can be modified.   You can take this on as a personal development goal to improve your communications skills under pressure.

Think about how you would feel when confronted with some of the things that you have done.  A little empathy goes a long way, especially now.

Your Relationship Issue Can be Resolved Over Time

Take your time.  Use care and rebuild the bonds of your healthy relationship solely based on the three support pillars of honesty, trust , and courtesy.  Get in touch with your core values and act accordingly.   Think about your future, your plans, your goals.

Set out with new hope and let me know how it goes….  For help check out my offerings: http://bouncingbacknow.com/personal-growth-resources/

Just Say No to the Status Quo TM

Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She is the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network.  Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV.  She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country.  Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show “World’s Greatest“  on the ION network.